Monday, September 6, 2010

My Mommy Feelings

There are def other things I should be doing, but I had to share this story while it was fresh in my mind. 

Klaeyton refused to take a nap today. We tried at least three times up until 2:30. No luck. Don't get me wrong, I will not let him give up his nap that easily, but I also know when it isn't worth the effort. 

Anyhow, no nap = oober cranky Klaeyton. duh. Normally, I wouldn't alternate his bed time because I like to keep him on a regular sleep schedule. But tonight I knew he wasn't going to make it till 8:30. So we did our bedtime thing and when I put him in his crib he was mad at me. He didn't want to go to bed. I turned on his music and turned around and asked him for my night-night kiss. He says, "No!" and goes to the corner of his crib. I said, "Ok" with my sad face (I know I know I shouldn't guilt my child into kissing me goodnight, but for truths sake, my feelings were hurt) Of course he screamed for me to come back as I start to leave the room. I told him I was only asking one more time and then I would leave and close the door. So what does my angelic toddler do? He tells me "No!" and goes to the corner of the crib. Sure enough, I sucked up my hurt mommy feelings and left. 

What did Klaeyton do? Of course, he screamed bloody murder for about ten minutes. I knew he needed to calm down before he would fall asleep, so this time I sucked up my mommy pride and went in. He immediately grabbed for me to give me a kiss. Now I know I could have let him scream endlessly, to prove my point. But I had a bigger point to prove (other than picking my battles). 

As Klaeyton kissed me goodnight, I rubbed his back (never taking him out of the crib) and told him to have sweet dreams and that I loved him. I left the room and he didn't make a peep. The more I thought about it, the more I was satisfied with the decision I made. Some may think I was too soft, or that I'm not teaching him anything, but I felt like in those moments I was showing my son forgiveness, and more importantly that I may leave him to hang for a little while, but that I love him and I'll always be there even when he hurts my mommy feelings. 

I know I know, he's too young to understand that, but maybe it was more for me than him. Maybe I needed to know that even when K hurts my mommy feelings, I will still always be there. 

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